I knew my life would be changed after that ritual, I just had no idea how much. No one could have known how much, and if I had known beforehand, I’m not sure I would have made it through. And though the day dawned just like any other, I could feel the change already.
For one, my thoughts were still swimming… Why was I left for last? How could I feel when he had selected me as his next victim? Why did he keep passing me up? And why, after I felt the wilderness, after I went through there, why didn’t I reconnect with the community?? Why did that make me so sad?? I felt like I’d been left, only I knew I hadn’t been. I remembered singing the words myself, “We are a new people, stronger than before…” Only I wasn’t, and that seemed like an ominous sign.